i always find it amazing to be able to connect with someone who has passed secret notes back and forth in study hall with life... who is on such a confidential basis with it that when the very word is mentioned, that person will go, " oh, life and I are like this!" and then hold up the first two digits of their dominant hand tightly crossed. i wonder if i am such a person. like, do i know it that well? i feel a little like Joni Mitchell must have felt shortly preceeding the writing of "Clouds" (aka Both Sides Now) what's funny about that song is that I have known the lyrics since I was a baby... I don't remember a time I didn't know that song, and it is only lately that I have really begun to understand it. (Leah, if you read this, forgive me, but this is the version I grew up with and the one I love most.)
I feel like life has written on me, and i feel sometimes like a handwritten letter from life, to people I love. I have had enough upset to know better than to be parsimonious with those I love. I want to be a smile on their faces whenever they think of me. I want to be a tear of joy on their cheeks. I want to be an urge in their hearts to hug, or bake cookies. I want to be a warm chuckle of identification on a lonely night in their lives.
i am so grateful for all the love in my life.
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