freaking out a little bit

this whole applying to grad school thing smacks just a little too much of auditioning. Aaargh! I don't like the feeling of my fate and future being in the hands of others. Brings up my control issues a little bit. In my mind, I should just be able to walk in, radiate my brilliance, and bowl them over to the point where they beg me to be part of their program... and they can throw all kinds of grant and scholarship money my way while they're at it!!! It's amazing being afforded the opportunity to lay aside my ego and have something so personal as my writing up for someone else's approval again.