I wrote this piece recently about an experience I had a few years ago that changed my life forever...
I
n April of 2008, I visited the city of New Orleans for the first, and so far the only time. This was already two and a half years after Katrina, but in some parts of town, I couldn't tell anything had ever happened, while in others, it was as if the storm were yesterday.
I was there as a volunteer for V-Day, Eve Ensler's global grassroots non-profit that I am a passionate organizer for. It was the tenth anniversary HUGE celebration, and forty thousand people from all over the world, of every conceivable race, gender, nationality, and religion were together in one amazing city for four days! I'd never seen anything like it, and may never again, as long as I live.
I arrived at my hotel room, on St. Charles, and hung out alone for a little while, until Candice, one of my roommates, came in from lunch. She, in from Northern California, a full-time insurance agent or something like that, and a volunteer rape crisis hotline counselor. Adorable and funny and whip smart, that Candice.
On the plane, I'd met this other very cool woman, Tara, who was doing what looked to me like airplane-seat yoga – some niche market for the busy enlightened traveler. She gave me a ride to my hotel; she was a local. I sang for my supper. Literally. I sang the song, “You Made Me Love You” as a thank you. She gave me a matchbook from where she worked, the St. Rock Tavern, and told me to come by and sing with the band, so that night, I did. Met my other roommate, Monique, there. She sings too!
The big event was to take place at the Superdome. Upstairs in the conference rooms were an activists lounge, a bunch of rooms all strung together and hosting political activists from as far away as Kenya, India, and Democratic Republic of Congo.
In Congo, a war has been waged on the people, mostly women and children, and mostly in particular areas, like Goma, and Kivu. The rich soil contains minerals that comprise an alloy known as Coltan. This alloy can withstand very high temperatures, making it an ideal component in our consumer electronics. Hundreds of thousands of women and girls, from babies to great grandmothers, have been raped and mutilated, sometimes repeatedly, parents killed in front of their children and vice versa, and many other unthinkable atrocities, all to get the people to leave the land to make the minerals accessible.
In order to bring light to this desperate situation, Eve chose Congo as the spotlight for her VDay campaigns for years to come, until the violence there stops. This, along with the 10th anniversary, was why we were there. Also, New Orleans had been the prior year's spotlight, and so we gathered there to bring lots of much needed money into the city, and to help change the vibe and welcome home Katrina survivors for their first time back since the storm. Needless to say, emotions ran high, all around.
The most beautiful part for me, and for many of us though, was the red tent. A very famous design store in NYC donated hundreds of yards of the most beautiful fabrics, silks, cushions, crystals, vintage fixtures, to build a red tent in which we gathered in organized groups for storytelling and healing talk and connection. It was a soft, safe, warm and womblike welcoming space for any who needed it.
I sat with a group of young people, all of whom could easily have been my college-age kids. I listened with my heart wide open to story after story of hurt, neglect, abuse, and I wept in deep compassion and identification. As we left the tent, one of the girls, maybe 20, collapsed in my arms. I'm a childless mother, and it shows in many circumstances. I held this young woman for several minutes, stopping my own tears to be present for her in her pain. I held her until her breathing slowed, and her gasps calmed, and finally, she gave me the universal, hug-ending squeeze. She thanked me with a broad grin, puffy green eyes, and rosy freckled cheeks. She was Canadian, I think.
Shortly thereafter, I began to be approached by people who were in need of some loving touch and hugs, and apparently, the first young woman had described me in great detail so that I could be easily found... this was on the floor of the SUPERDOME, where, at any given moment, something like 7000 people were packed, and somehow, hundreds of them found me on pure physical description alone, and I spent two or three days getting to be a vessel of compassion and solace for people in pain.
At one point on the second day, I had to sit down with one of the volunteer therapists that were there to take care of people too. I was overcome with feeling and I needed to take a little rest. I sat for an hour or so with Dr. Lexi, and she was great. As we sat in the shadow of the stage, half-listening to a panel discussion, I watched an older woman fall soundly asleep sitting up in the first row of chairs. Arms crossed in front of her, purse resting on her wrists and chin resting on her purse. Then there was a little commotion off to the right, and in walked Vday board member Jane Fonda. She was there for the event and to participate in the closing evening's performance of The Vagina Monologues.
She and her friend held a quiet conversation as they sat two empty seats from the sleeping woman. I couldn't believe I was sitting twenty feet from Jane Fonda, who had the biggest lack of Hollywood ego and pretense I think I've ever seen in a mega star up close. She partially attended her friend, partially the lecture, until at last, it was over. As people rose to leave and the sleeping woman did not wake, Ms. Fonda turned to her, leaned over the two empty seats, and tapped her on the shoulder. She hung there, next to the woman's left ear, until the woman blinked and nodded awake, and then glanced up to see who her nap's intruder was. Can you imagine?
