Is your boss the religious type? Is your boss trying to push his/her religion on to you? Fear not! Birth control is now within reach...

The perfect ridiculous response to a ridiculous verdict:

I cannot believe this shit is necessary. 

It's been a few years since I've been here. A close friend encouraged me to take up blogging again, if indeed what I do counts as blogging. I must admit, it is good to exercise my mental writing muscles again.

I won't bore you with a recap of my life since last I smote the page with my ideas. I'm in a better place now, though. Wait, that makes it sound like I'm dead. I'm not, thank goodness. I am feeling better in many ways, though. I'd love to be able to smoothly write from a place of power rather than pain all the time. Why is it that emotional turmoil can be so nutritious to the writing process? I guess I could reread O'Neill for answers to that one.

Anyhoo, I'm back, possibly daily, probably not. I'll write when the mood strikes and see if I can coerce that mood often. Meanwhile, thanks for following, or reading, or commenting. See you again soon!

another day, another poem

A generous slice of humble pie never did hurt no one

oh, it may smart a while, but it never really hurts...

when the heat starts to melt the cheese,

the thing to say is, May I have more, please?

When it's offered a la mode,

you dig right in to lighten your load.

If it's given in the face,

we must accept that with some grace.

If the taste is less than pleasing,

we learn to take a gentle teasing.

It may be served with fresh whip cream

that's when you achieve the dream

but pie is pie, I'm here to say

have some served the humble way.

My first post in close to six months

it is a very foggy time in my life right now... so many things making me unsure and afraid and somehow, this came out of me a little while ago....

Ear to the ground, silent
listen to thrumming ground, low
at first, mere hint of a feeling
expectant dust rises distantly
as the void between Wild and me swiftly closes...
proud ears upperked, alive to sensation of her very life
the dark halo flying behind, and she lopes, closer and closer
flecks of foam fly from flank...
and triumphant mouth
she grazes farther every day
there are nights she doesn't come to me at all
separate from her I feel small and alone

but as i see her madly breaching
the gap between us, i throw back
my head, whoop and holler!!!
and somewhere inside me there is a burst, i am free
there is strength as i need it
there is speed, and surety
as i begin to match her ferocity
and i fly in her direction
and i leap with all of my might
and my body turns on air, and somehow
i land my target
and again, that firey spirit of mine and i are one
and try as you may, you will not break us

911

It will be ten years ago this September that we commemorate 911. This certainly deserves some reflection... I have been really taken aback by some of the extreme happenings in this country of late. Things it never occurred to me would be issues again, ever, have come back into broad view, under review, called into question, those ideals, laws, huge chunks of historical and political progress, under attack from a seemingly growing fear gripped population. All of the events of the last decade have been such a shock to our collective system. It is difficult not to have compassion for people who are so afraid of everything... I do not believe that people are generally motivated by hatred... I believe they have a great desire to protect "their own" as they see it, and that is something that is understandable, whether I condone their methods or not.

We have not been taught how to process the world which continues to speed up its already break-neck pace. We are moving so fast we cannot adjust. The most gentle form of travel I have ever experienced is, ironically (given one of my last posts) by ship. Crossing slowly and gently through time zones gives the body and mind time to adjust, and not feel any jetlag. Same thing we should be observing now, in general, on a societal level.

It is very obvious why so many have been called to the slower practices of mindful eating and yoga, meditation and tai chi and its ilk. They have become attuned with their own inner paces and have chosen to slow down a little bit, to give themselves time to adjust and attune.

The thing that concerns me is that we now seem to be on the verge of creating what we were so deathly afraid of having visited upon us from the outside. We are trying to take away people's rights at an alarming pace! That is not who we are! We are also weirdly trying to bring democracy to other places where perhaps theocracy or dictatorship were the rule of the day.... and now we behave like the ones we are so afraid of.

What has happened to us? We need so much to slow down and catch our collective breath... and pay attention to each other. I can't say it enough. Please see each other. Be willing and open to seeing someone's heart, whether or not we like what we hear them say. People say things many times for approval, for belonging, for identification. It sounds good and feels good coming from their mouths and so they make it their own. But it does not define them as people. There are no bad people, only loveless acts. Fear and ignorance are not automatically equivalent to hatred. This is why we must be willing to see one another's hearts, so that we can hear each other.

thanks for reading.

Love is a verb

the title of this post SHOULD express it all, but sadly, as I witnessed tonight, it doesn't. After two days in bed sick, I was finally feeling well enough to get up and attend a benefit thrown for my best pal, the one and only beautiful adorable Nina Hartley. She is a world famous legendary sex-positive feminist porn star. She has had, I believe, the single most enduring career in her industry - 27 years now, and still going strong. She is funny, sensitive, brilliant, beautiful, demonstrative, affectionate, and the most generous person I know. And the attendance at the event was so poor I wanted to scream!!!! She has stood up for her industry, and for sex workers and other disenfranchised folk since the beginning of her career! She is an advocate for free speech, big love, and so many other things that matter I cannot begin to list them. I am very angry and hurt that more folks from within her own industry, folks who owe her SO MUCH for being where they are and so few of them even bothered to attend, even those who call her a friend! What the hell???!!!!??? And through it all, she being the amazing class act that she is, kept a big smile on her face and in her eyes and heart, and was so grateful to the people who DID attend, and never once let on how disappointed she must feel. She inspires me every day with who she is. I am a zillion times better human since I know her, and I wish I could wake people up. I'll never stop trying...

Divide and Conquer, no more

it's been a while. but I have to write this. I used to work for a very big cruiseline, on two of their "luxury" ships. there were staff and crew from all over the world! at first glance, this seemed to be an equitable, ideal situation for all kinds of people, until I looked more closely. what i saw when i did was this: different nationalities and races being treated differently based on their socioeconomic backgrounds... for instance, most of the cleaners/luggage loaders were from the islands, in very poor parts, with large families in great need. so what does this cruiseline do? subcontract these folks at a rate of fifty dollars a month, with no transportation paid for to and from the ship, no port time, no on board privileges, because it would be too upsetting to the passengers to have to spend any time socially with someone who cleans up after them. nobody is forcing them to go, you might say. but there is little or no work at home, and what there is pays almost nothing. this is a little better than nothing, and so they are forced to work eighteen hour days, seven days a week, with almost no shore leave even on embarkation days because they have to ready the rooms and load and unload luggage. for tips and fifty bucks a month salary. now it so happens that i was one of the entertainers, and the entertainers have the cushiest jobs aboard ship. other than rehearsals and performances and the occasional social event, the only other obligatory part of the job was safety training and boat drills. we had plenty of shore time, plenty of port time, were ENCOURAGED to mix with the passengers socially (but not in any other way, especially sexually, or one risked being fired) and of course our quarters and the cleaners' quarters were DIRECTLY next to each other. needless to say, since they ALSO had to take care of our rooms and clean up after us (!!!!!!) they HATED us, understandably, and would turn us in on the slightest infraction at the slightest provocation. and this, of course, is not accidental in any way. this is an example of tactics used by corporate America and fascist governments everywhere of "divide and conquer" mentality. the whole idea behind it is that if you can divide people against each other, and keep them believing that the other is the enemy, you can much more easily control them. this is true in religion, when each religion claims to be the right one and all others flawed, wrong and basically evil. this is true in politics, which is becoming more and more interchangeable with religion the crazier the planet gets... hmm, interesting, isn't? it is true in media, school, and packs of wild animals everywhere. how better to get at the weak? split up the herd.

skip to tonight, i am watching a HOUSE rerun on Hulu, and there is some inane commercial for homestyle quick mac and cheese. the premise is, dad shows up home to an OF COURSE mom-made dinner with a client, unannounced. his 9 year old son is relaying the information to us, telling us what an idiot dad is and how he "really screwed this one up" and i am sitting and shaking my head in dismay when i realize it is exactly the same "Divide and Conquer" thinking as engaged in by the rest of corporate America, but in a much subtler, more insidious fashion. there is never a need to agitate an already fragile generational gap in any way. the world has now arrived at a critical mass; we have too much information too much of the time and no accurate way to interpret all of it at the lightning speed at which it hits us. we need each other, as people, now more than we ever have before, in history, because our advanced technology has brought us all so close together, whether we wish to be or not. and if you have ever been stuck on a subway train in new york city in august you know exactly what i am talking about. it may be obnoxious at times, but that's the way it is. so what we need to do is figure out a way to make it work, find ways to like each other and understand each other. enough of us flinging crap at each other. we are not in a zoo. we need to live our lives more responsibly, and not just more green or sustainable, but more aware of each other. i see it all over the place, both the times when nobody is even paying attention because they are too busy texting, to times like tonight, when i had ordered dinner at a little Italian place and, while sitting and waiting for my order, i got the amazing privilege of being able to experience watching the Buddha nature of a little five year old girl who kept doing her gentle quiet best to connect with people with her eyes. i was one of the lucky ones, and so i honored that connection with every fiber of my being and allowed her to see me. and then i watched her as she tried to connect with a bigger girl, whom she kept looking at and smiling shyly, as if she wanted to be friends with the bigger girl. and the bigger girl was at the age where they think little kids are not worth seeing, around 10 maybe. and the little one just turned her attention back to her big fat slice of cheesy deep dish pizza and laughed with her parents, and took none of it personally. and i walked out of that restaurant a better human. it is no wonder i was upset by the generational agitation taking place on my quickly dying computer.

we have been rolling over complacently for enough years... hell, the very technology i now use to write this blog is potentially part of the problem, and so i wish consciously to be part of the solution. i don't wish to denigrate corporate America... what a large and easy target, and nothing is all bad. i only wish to acknowledge my own complacency, and the fact that i am increasingly awake and aware the more i learn and heal and grow, and i only want to hold a gentle mirror up to us and maybe encourage us to look honestly into it, and see the whole of who we are, and do the best we can to be good aware people, and notice each other, and care about each other, as actively as we can. if you have read this and related, please repost it for me. thanks.